Isn’t it time you bought a spaghetti-twirling fork?

What’s behind the American obsession with convenience, with ever wackier gadgets aiming to improve our quality of life while exploiting our trust in any new product that demonstrates Darwinian evolution? The US is the marketer’s fantasy filled with open-minded consumers and money to spare.

I was prompted to ponder this convenience fixation while reading a recent article about some recent inventions which could only thrive in a place where consumers embrace the newfangled, the time- and calorie-saving, the “wish I’d thought of that” device. Ah, America!

One of the earliest such gadgets was Thomas Jefferson’s automatic double door from 1804, which swings open both doors when pulling just one. A harbinger of the era of ultra-convenience that modern Americans expect as a worldwide standard, subsequent innovators include the companies who created the robotic floor cleaners including the Dirt Dog, Scooba and Roomba which led to the concept of the robotic lawn mowers made by Robomow.

Of course, robot technology has been greatly improved since the early versions thanks to the Japanese, who now market life-size bots to Americans that can do the most mundane household chores so you don’t have to. When it comes to devices for food, no one creates gadgets like Americans. Take for instance Marky Sparky’s Spinmallow, a stainless-steel telescopic skewer that can rotate your marshmallows at 92 rpm to ensure your confection is perfectly charred the way it used to be at summer camp. Almost as compelling is Four Leaf Clever Inc.’s Motor-Powered Self-Twirling Spaghetti Fork, selling over 100,000 units per year since first launched in 2005. Definitely something to pop into your handbag, ladies, before your next visit to Wagamama.

Let’s not forget the device you’ll need once you finish those noodles — the Motorized Ice Cream Cone. This essential device created in Seattle in 1999 rotates your Ben & Jerry’s at that scientific speed of 15 rpm so you don’t risk wrist strains or worse while indulging in your favorite dessert. Other convenient food inventions include the Space Food Sticks of the 1960’s, a pre-rolled cylinder of sweetened grit in a foil-lined wrapper about the size of a large pencil, totally eliminating the time you’d otherwise waste eating!

One time-saving tool many Americans cherish is The Clapper, created by Joseph Enterprises in San Francisco. This sensor plugs into your wall socket into which you can plug your lamp, your microwave, your TV… just about anything. With a single burst of clapping, you can turn your lamp on and off, easy as that. Once embedded in your favorite recliner chair, why leave this comfortable womb to walk over to a wall to turn on or off the light switch? This way, you can still be in control without expending a single calorie. You can even stay seated while you put Rex on his Dog Walker or Pawwws Pet treadmill, or let him pull you along on his Dog-Powered Scooter created by Mark Schuette of Bend, Oregon?

Other convenient and money-saving American inventions include the 3-legged pantyhose, handy for those stressful moments when you’ve laddered only one leg of your tights and luckily have that spare leg discretely tucked away in the panty which you can unfurl at a moment’s notice. Which stress is enough to drive you to smoke, so you’ll need your Smoker’s Hat when you join your work colleagues forced onto the pavement for a quick fix. This battery-powered hat sucks, filters, deodorizes and ionizes the smoke while spraying fresh scent near the exhaust fan before it’s expelled. The revolutionary design feature is a cigarette clip mounted inside the visor that dangles your cigarette in front of your lips, leaving your hands free to do other things, like hold the motorized ice cream cone. The clincher is the built-in cigarette pack holders and handy tinted visor (color: smoke).

For more info: www.intermarketingonline.com and www.workingwithamericans.com